It's 3am

Do you ever wish your brain had an on and off switch? Usually after I had a busy day, I lay awake in the middle of the night with a million thoughts running through my head. My brain manages to remember and over analyze everything. 

I was laying in bed the other night and thinking about how a few hours ago I prayed over a dear friend as she brought her prayer requests to me. At this point I started to play the prayer over in my head and over analyze what I said and what I could have said. Sometimes I sit there and think, "wow, I should have said this and that in my prayer because that's what she needed to hear." 

But then it hit me that it's not me that knows what she needs. It's God. He uses us and leads our prayers with the Spirit that brings life. It's not me or my words that make a difference but instead my willingness to let Him speak through me into her soul. And to be honest, I'm glad it's this way otherwise I, in my selfish human ways, would want to take the credit for myself and not give all the glory to Him. I am just an instrument in His mighty hands. 

It's funny how when we are physically tired and exhausted, we can lay in bed and even then the enemy will try to destroy us with feeding us lies. 

Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. http://esv.to/1Pet5.8

zoom out

Sometimes when life throws curve balls at us, all I want to do is crawl into bed, curl up in a ball, cry and simply give up. (To be honest, when you live in a cold basement, staying in a warm bed sounds so appealing- but that's besides the point). It's a beautiful, yet painful, thing when God is trying to teach you to depend on Him and not on your own strength and circumstances. Although I'm a pretty positive person, often times I find myself focused on the negatives (the realist in me). But in times like these I have to remind myself that I only see a tiny little pixel of a bigger picture. I need to shift my focus from the little pixel, zoom out, and see the bigger picture that He sees. Sometimes I wish I had a zoom-in/zoom-out button in my life:) Although I don't always understand what is going on in my life, my hope is in the One that loves me deeply even when I fail. 

j is for JOY

The last few weeks I have been thinking a lot about the word joy. It's been on my mind constantly. I've come to realize that it's not quite the same thing as happy. Joy, being full of joy or being joyful is much deeper and satisfying than being happy. Everyone wants to be happy, right? It is something that drives so much of our decisions. In my mind,  happy is a feeling that comes and goes. It's something that you feel depending on your circumstances. If things are going well, you are happy. If not, then you are unhappy. Joy on the other hand is a choice you make regardless of your circumstances. The bible calls us to rejoice ALWAYS. We all know this. We all know that we have to be joyful in all situations in life. The problem is, sometime we try to take it into our own hands. So many times I find myself trying to live a joyful life on my own efforts. As if I am trying to be the hero of my own life. But the fact is that this life is not our own. We are not our own. This is something I need to remind myself of. Since this is true, I can't rely on my own strength to be joyful. Well, guess what?--that's the beauty of it. I can truly be joyful in ALL stages of my life if I let HIM develop that in me. It's not a feeling. It's much deeper than that. Something that only He can give us. Our true satisfaction comes only from Him. He will fill our cup and our joy will be complete.  "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law." - Galatians 5:22-23

oh happy day

Have you ever had one of those really good days where you just don't want it to end? Whether you are hanging out with someone you love or simply enjoying some alone time with God, everything seems to stop and life is as perfect as it gets. I absolutely adore these types of joy filled days. Though life seems peachy, it is nothing compared to what is waiting for us when we unite with Christ. It is so exciting to realize that we are part of a bigger picture, a greater purpose. Life on this earth is temporary and this is not our home.

Welcome :)

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope." ~Romans 15:13